Malia Review

Here’s a Malia review by one of our forum members Midland.


Booked with 18-30s and stayed at the Malia resort hotel. Got into Malia around 2am and got to the hotel for around 3am. Upon arrival was greeted by 18-30 reps and had free shots and had a few drinks. Thing that hit my straight away was the drink prices in the hotel. When i last came it was 5 for 5 euro it is now 5 euro for a standard mixer and 3-4 euros depending on what beer/cider you have.
Due to the time we got there decided against going out so went skinny dipping instead as its a tradition on the first night! Saw a lad passed out in his own vomit the first night and he was still there when we got back from the beach…..bless

Not going to try and run through each day as we played ring of fire every night before we went out and i always pulled the last king out and had to neck the pint of shit drink so to be honest the first 3 days were a complete blur will just cover the knitty gritty.

Nightlife– I loved it, lots of bars to go to only one moan is there are only a small number of bigger clubs to go to which could get repetitive if you went for longer than a week. We always started off in the karaoke bar across the road from our hotel most nights and got good deals. I know some bars do 2 for 1 if you get out early enough but i noticed most girls were not going out until 12/1 because of the drink prices.

Drink prices– Expensive!!! Only word i can use because i am comparing it to last time! I know if you ask in some bars you will get free shots but don’t expect to get any good deals on your mixer’s! We were lucky as the reps told us they had only just started doing 2 for 1’s and free fish bowls and shots around the time we arrived. I reckon next year or the year after it will go back to normal as it clearly affected the amount of people who went this year and the bars were quiet until around midnight. Like i said standard price is 5 euros for a mixer or 7 in some clubs. If you compare that to the UK it is practically the same price if not a little more expensive. I drink vodka lemonade and that costs around £4 max £5 in clubs so i am not getting any benefits in Malia! My tip is to go to a supermarket next to the Malia resort hotel (near reflex) and for 27 euros between four of you, you get 3 bottles of spirit (usually 2 vodkas and a peach snaps) and one mixer and a fish bowl and some straws. We had this most nights. Still managed to nail 50-70 euros some nights tho :wtf:

Girl to boy ratio– not to bad actually always was a good amount of girls apart from the flight change over nights. It is funny seeing some lads with there tops off thinking are the bees knees. Beware of the stuck up girls who think they are some kind of model tho my advice go up to them and tell them they are ugly as fuck!
Seen alot of very very very drunk girls. Had to carry one home one night and she wasn’t the exactly light! Nearly pulled my back out i tell you. Last time i offer to be a gentleman i tell thee!

Excursions– we did the booze cruise, pool party, beach party and water park. They were all pretty good. The booze cruise took a while to get going but after i got stitched up by a mate and had to have a dark side i was well and truly on my way! The water park is nowhere near as good as the one in Magaluf but still a laugh either way! The sex on the beach free bar at the pool party was nowhere near as strong as the beach party and booze cruise.

Malia resort hotel– Some very good and bad points. Good points- Pool is one of the biggest in Malia so i am told. The music is very good in the day good party atmosphere. The hotel is bang in the centre of the action.
Bad points- watch out for the maids!! My mate and his pal in other room didn’t get a safe and had there iPhone stolen. Thing is the bloke we does the night shift watch is married to one of the maids and there is a camera overlooking our corridor and one overlooking his room but funnily enough when we asked him to look at the camera he said its hard to make out who it is! Even the local who works in the nearest shop said be aware of the maids. It happened to a few people! The bloke we does nights is a pain if you want to bring a chick back (30-50euros) so better off shagging down the beach or pulling a bird from your hotel as that’s practically prostitution!!!
Don’t eat the Breakfast there it was minging! Don’t let the maids put you off tho just get a safe and don’t leave anything out i would stay in this hotel again due to its location and atmosphere!

Overall– i have done Malia twice now and i am not getting any younger (27 next year) but i did think it was a blast both times even tho i nailed nearly 800 euro in a week but i did pay nearly 200 euro for excursions. I would recommend it to anyone just if you stay there drink before you go out or you will spend a bomb! Also be careful as i know one bird got mugged so try and have a bit of wits about you! I saw far 2 many passed out birds and lads! No need to get that drunk surely! Think because i am 27 next summer i think its time for me to do Napa as i have done Ibiza and although I didn’t feel old i reckon that was due to me going the end of Aug. I think it would be full of 18-21 yr olds at the start of peak season.

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