NOT FOR NERVOUS FLYERS
The jungle, also known as “Cattle Class” on the aeroplane, was pretty much dominated by rowdy groups of adolescents in embarrassing T-shirts intending to portray they’re “Up 4 A lAfF”, yet in my opinion screamed CRINGE. After a game of musical chairs to cater to the unlucky individuals such as myself that claimed the deserted seat beside the drunk hooligan you just knew would spew everywhere, normal flight procedures include compulsory safety checks. NOT ON THE BANTER BUS. The steward who you could only feel total sympathy towards was devoured by ‘The Ladz’ harmony of ‘WHEEYYYY’ whenever he made the slightest arm gesture, so professionally gave up. Sitting in the wrong seat with my flight socks on and seriously considering why on earth I paid for myself to be in this position we jetted off to the island of OOH AH Zakynthos!
WELCOME TO SLAGANAS
On arrival at 5am, I was consumed by the smell of the island’s sewage that surprisingly became unnoticeable within an hour. An unbelievably quick ten minute coach journey from the airport with holiday rep “Ronald Weasley” led us to where we were staying, “The Ilios Apartments”. Here I was greeted by a colony of intoxicated half naked Glaswegian lads wearing sombreros, just back from a night out on the strip insisting on carrying me and my friends suitcases. Don’t mind if you do. The carnage had begun.
THE ILIOS APPARTMENTS & FOOD
15 minute walk from Main Strip
25 minute walk from Beach
5 minute walk to Nearby Restaurants and Shops
SLEEP: The apartments are situated down a quiet side path which meant it was possible to nap without disturbances, that is until the maid intrudes as early as 10am with a somewhat commendable attempt to create some organisation within the pigsty.
ACCOMODATION: Apart from the expensive air conditioning that resulted in the inhabitants of room 312 melting every night due to a mixture of lazy-itus and lack of care where you sleep at 7am, we were provided with sufficient self catering equipment such as a cooking stove, microwave, kettle and fridge. We also had a TV which didn’t work, no biggy! The powerful hosepipe used as a shower requires either immense skill or a miracle to not allow the bathroom to flood. The balconies were perfect for evening pre-drinks, especially for large groups as they were aligned closely together (easy to hop over). Friendly staff made it a pleasant visit.
POOL: The pool was kept clean and open till 9pm which was handy if you just wanted to chill, considering most people hit the strip at roughly 12.30pm. There were plenty of sun loungers for everyone, and numerous inflatable’s left in the pool for a good game of TOTAL WIPEOUT. Be warned of there are sun cream thief’s that did not cater themselves with enough protection for the 43 degree heat.
FOOD: I LOVE GYROS. A bar serving cheap food and drink all day beside the pool meant we rarely ventured out to the islands restaurants, which in all honesty were not up to any high standard probably as Laganas is not the typical Greek island you visit for a taste of culture. After trying multiple Greek dishes such as moussaka in attempt to find a good restaurant, we eventually settled for the flavoursome stomach lining GYROS PLATE, SOUVLAKI AND “KEBAPS”, also known spelt correctly in English as ‘Kebabs’.
A HIGHLY RECOMMENDABLE PLACE TO STAY.
The beach even for those who have accommodation right in the heart of the strip is quite a mission. It is at the opposite end of the strip, and to walk down the strip from one end to the other takes a good 15 minutes. Laganas beach is not the perfect resort for building sand castles. The sun loungers are in abundance, leaving literally no room for anything other than sunbathing. You can hire a “pedlo” with a maximum capacity of 4 people for 10 Euros and venture out to sea on look for the famous massive turtles Zante inhabits, or just for a quick swim. I highly recommend hiring a speedboat for 30 Euros with a maximum capacity of 8 people. Be warned, bringing the boat back in and dodging the thousands of people swimming requires huge skill. The speedboat was definitely a highlight of the holiday. There are numerous cafe’s alongside the beach that offer lunch. The sea itself is shallow until a long way out when there is a sudden drop and before you know it and you can no longer see underneath you. The sea is confused as to whether it wants to be hot or cold, so is both. The scenery on the beach is mesmerising and worth at least a day trip to experience.
Do not be alarmed if your busting out some of your best moves and the music stops. Most likely a police car patrolling the noise levels is going past and the bar you’re in has had to turn off the music, as strange and difficult to comprehend as it seems it’s a real silly Greek Law. Cheap booze and loads of it sums up the strip. The Greek bouncers are not to be messed with. I myself witnessed numerous acts of violence, such as a monstrous Greek bouncer outside Fish Bowl literally chuck a boy on to the road, of whom was nearly hit by a car that fortunately swerved just in time for him. They are particularly aggressive to boys and seem to take pride in having fights and for any cocky boys out there, they will win. Laganas is full of bar’s selling cheap drinks with desperate promoters offering what seems cheap deals. Me and my friends agreed if we drank the same amount in London as we did in Zante, we would probably be in a hospital bed. Yes, the drinks and shots in Laganas are watered down a lot! The safest bet is to get a deal including vodka/tequila shots for ultimate lack of control before hitting the clubs. Bars that offered us on average 2 cocktails and 3 shots of strong alcohol include “Central”, “Argos” (Pronounced ARE-GO’S, not as in the catalogue store Argos) and “Fishbowl”. When hitting the main clubs, if you want pure madness “Zeroes” is the place to be. Playing insane drum n bass mixes and some dubstep through to late morning it’s the perfect place to go if you want to rave. Another club that caters for people more interested in chart music is called “Rescues”. I personally felt “Rescue’s” reminded me too much of the main clubs in England which put me off going again as it was nothing exciting. “Cocktail’s & Dreams” indeed a bar from a long sight, inside definitely verged on a club. The bars were full of girls dancing on top of them, including buckets hanging from the ceiling which read “BAGS IN HERE WHEN DANCING ON BAR”. A variety of ‘Ibiza’ club land music was played all night which was hot for dancing on the bar. At the point when everything is closing but you don’t want your night to end, head down to Cherry Bay for their Beach Party! Be warned, it gets insanely crammed around 4am. Otherwise, you could also take a small hike to the beach for a late night porn show.
To conclude, if you’re looking for a cheap, insane, eventful week abroad with friends inclusive with some surprising beautiful scenery… Zante is without a question of a doubt the place to be.
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